We confuse attachment with love. Attachment is concerned with my needs, my happiness, while love is an unselfish attitude, concerned with the needs and happiness of others.... A relationship free of unrealistic grasping is free of disappointment, conflict, jealousy, and other problems, and is fertile ground for the growth of love and wisdom.

- Kathleen McDonald, "How to Meditate"

Motivation to write

Ewan ko ba, mula nang mapunta ako dito tinamad na akong magsulat. Dati-rati naman matindi ang motibasyon ko, kahit nga sa likod ng pakete ng sigarilyo o tiket sa bus nakakapag sulat ako ng tula. Kung nabebenta lang ang mga tulang naisulat ko noon, mayaman na siguro ako ngayon. Hahahaha! Sabi nga ni Misis Tikboy nung isang araw bakit daw hindi ako ulit magpadala ng tula sa Poetry.com baka sakaling swertihin na ako ngayon. Hanggang sa semifinals lang kasi ako nakaabot noong 2001. Pagkatapos nun, hindi ko na sinubukan ulit.

My motivation used to be heartache and pain. It still is. I write better when I am in a depressed mode. Writing my thoughts and feelings was just an outlet for me. A constructive outlet. Rather than succumbing to my dark side of being morbid and violent, I write. But lately I seem to have lost my flair for writing. Why? Masaya kasi ako. Hahahaha! At kapag masaya ako, puro kamanyakan ang nasa isip ko. Ehek!

I wrote something last night. Kaso na-censor ni Misis Tikboy. Hehehehe! It's kind of personal. I'll give you a hint - the title of the article is "Tikboy's bedroom thoughts" kaya hayun, pagkabasang-pagkabasa niya nag-text agad sa akin sabay sabing i-edit ko 'yung sinulat ko. Ehek! Minsan nga naiisip kong maging erotic writer 'yung tipong mala Xerex. Baka sakaling dun ako kumita at yumaman. Hahahaha!

Bakit nga ba halos lahat ng tao ang bukambibig eh "Pag yumaman ako..." sarap kasi mangarap. Sarap sana makuha 'yun mga bagay na sa ordinaryong pagkakataon, sa realidad ng buhay eh hindi mo agad-agad makukuha. Maraming beses hindi ako makatulog kakaisip na kinabukasan mababasa ko ang diyaryo at makikita kong tumama ako sa loterya. Seryoso, tumataya na ako sa lotto ngayon. Mana talaga ako sa lolo ko, lalo na naman akong aasarin ni Misis na talagang apo ako ni Rizal! Hehehe.. pero sana nga parehas kami ng kapalaran, sana manalo rin ako. Hindi rin naman magkaiba ang intensyon ko sa naging intensyon at aksyon ni Lolo Pepe noon - mag-invest sa lupa, mag-negosyo at ipadala ang ilan sa nanay ko para maipambayad ng utang. Ehek!

Hindi na ako bumabata, pag naiisip ko nga ito parang nauubusan ako ng panahon. Sa buhay na inisip ko noong bago ako makapagtapos ng kolehiyo, sa ganitong edad establisiyado na ako. Pero hindi ito ang realidad ng buhay ko ngayon.. panibagong buhay, panibagong simula. Sabi nga ni Tita Baby, late bloomer daw ako. Matinding hirap muna ang pagdadaanan ko bago ko makuha 'yung mga bagay na pinapangarap ko. Pero sa sandaling madaanan at malampasan ko 'yung paghihirap na 'yun puro naman daw ginhawa.

Sarap marinig. Sarap umasa. Pero sa ngayon, kayod muna. Dasal, tiis. Dagdagan ang pasensiya. Ngiti kahit inis. Gising kahit antok. Hindi naman malayong mangyari ang lahat ng 'yun.

Darating din ang umaga. Pero sa ngayon, pagkagat ng dilim gigising ang bampira. Ehek!

Top 10 Reasons Why Women Love Vampires

My Tikboy has always associated herself as a vampire, beat that! I read this in an article and I kindda made a conclusion that my Tikboy has indeed the makings of a vampire, hahahaha! Read on... I put my own bits and pieces to it.


No.1 - Vampires are the ultimate bad boys/girls

Women love baaad. Now mix in the fact that a vampire is searching for eternal love and needs a woman to survive; you’ve got yourself the ultimate bad boy/girl - answers to no one, lives by his own rules & wears nice clothes.

------ My Tikboy has been independent eversince. She has her own principles so to speak. She has her bad streaks too - and when she is bad, that's when it's good, hahahahahaha!

No.2 - Vampires are powerful

Vampires exude two types of power. The first is the raw, physical power. The vampire is always in phenomenal shape; it must be the low carbs/high blood diet and tons of sleep. The second type of power is mental. He's usually a manipulative bastard who can match brains as much as brawn. This amazing one-two combo is a major reason women love vampires. Moreover, it’s almost impossible to kill a vampire.

------ Yep, she can be manipulative if she wants to. Kung hindi ba naman eh, ilang beses kaya nagkaroon ng 2 gf yan at the same time! Power I tell you. Hirap kaya mamangka sa 2 ilog LOL! (sorry baby...)

No.3 - Vampires are romantic

Give those dead, bloodsucking bastards credit: they know how to romance the pants off a woman. The setting is always dark and mysterious and the atmosphere is just right for doing something dirty.

------ Si Tikboy, mega romantic to the max! Napaka... as in... ang tinding mag-alaga. Kaya nga ang daling madevelop ang mga girls pag kasama sya palagi... tulad ni____ (hmp!)

No.4 - Vampires search forever to find "her"

Woman love to think they were destined to be with one man for the rest of their lives. They love the romantic angle of a soul mate -- two people destined to meet, fall in love and be together forever. Now imagine that man is just as eager to find her and has been searching for untold centuries. It knocks a woman off her feet like a silver bullet through the heart. When a vampire sinks his teeth (figuratively) into a woman, he makes her feel like the only woman in the world. It’s no wonder women fall hard.

------- Pangatlong beses na kaya namin ito... Susme... we always find each other no matter what. Soulmates nga di ba? Hindi ko rin nga alam kung bakit...

No.5 - Vampires are persuasive

Vampires have a calming demeanor. They are suave, smooth and soft-spoken, and the women eat it up. They convince the smart and savvy women that their odd behavior is on the up-and-up. They even convince them it’s cool to suck blood.

------- Nakow, kung kilala mo si Tikboy, you know that she is an epitome of calmness. Suave sa babae kaya matindi hahahaha! Pailalim kung kumilos... Saka noh, titigan lang ako, nahuhulog na ang mga hindi dapat mahulog, ehek!

No.6 - Vampires are moody

Women beg to differ, but they honestly do like the occasional hint of drama in a relationship. It keeps things fresh and exciting. This is perfect for the vampire, whose mood is constantly changing.

------- Moody at selosa kamo!!!!!

No.7 - Vampires love necking

Woman love sex. Honestly. But what they love even more is all the fooling around that should be involved before sex. As we all know, men just like to get down to business -- but not vampires. They want to mess around. Particularly around the neck area -- the “sweet spot” as it’s known around the coffins. They know how to start off tender and soft and then get a little rough. Rough enough to draw blood. Kinky.

------- "they know how to start off tender and soft and get a little rough" ..... ahhh...uhmmm...teka... natataranta ako..paano ba..... No comment, hahahahahahaha!

No.8 - Vampires dress well

Ever seen a poorly dressed vampire? Never. Vampires are always impeccably dressed with perfect hair and a nice complexion. They wear their clothes well and always with the perfect fit.

----- Need I say more? Yan kaya ang unang napapansin ng mga "hitad" sa kanya... saka yung amoy nya na super bango.

No.9 - Vampires require no commitment during the day

Even though women love to spend as much time as possible with the man they adore, they still want some alone time to do things with the girls or on their own.

------ Ito lang ata ang trait ng vampire na hindi para kay Tikboy ko. Tikboy is all commitment - no more, no less...


No.10 - Vampires are loners

Vampires work alone. They don’t have many friends, and if they do, they are usually out doing their own thing. Women love vampires because they have all the time in the world. Literally.

------- Very Tikboy trait. Hindi mahilig maglalabas. Mas gusto magbasa. Misteryoso epek! Kaya naman pansinin eh. Naattract ang girls dahil sa pangiti ngiti at patingin tingin na style.

One Year Lang?

Somebody asked me kung talagang nakaka one year pa lang kami ni Tikboy. Well, actually, it's just one year for the third time around. Masalimuot ang kuwento naming dalawa - pang MMK ba, hahahahaha!

Our first was way back in HS. Then second time around was way back 2000. Naka five years rin kami that time. Then we parted ways only to rekindle whatever we still have last year.

Kaya, yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and yes, I deserve the ring, hahahahahaha!

Regalo

Sunday pa lang alumpihit na ako. Paano ba naman hindi ko pa nabibilhan ng regalo si Misis Tikboy, first year anniversary pa mandin namin. Patay! Kaya nga pagkatapos na pagkatapos ko sa trabaho tinanong ko agad ang kasama ko kung hanggang oras ang mall. Kaso Linggo nga pala, mas maaga nagsasara ang Serramonte Shopping Center at The Shops at Tanforan. Pati nga sana Costco o kaya DS Market papatulan ko na, kaso maaga rin nagsisipagsara. Kaya 'yun, sabi ko na lang pipitas na lang muna ako ng bulaklak sa bakuran para ibigay kay Misis Tikboy pagbaba niya ng eroplano.

Matagal ko na siya gusto bilhan ng singsing kaso hindi ko sigurado kung magugustuhan niya ang pipiliin ko o hindi. Sigurista pa mandin ako, ngek! Kaya nga kanina hinatak ko siya para tumingin sa Zales. Habang namimili siya ino-obserbahan ko lang. Mga band rings ang tinitingnan niya... hmmmm.. kaso may isang singsing na talaga naman kumuha sa atensyon niya na nasa Bridal ring selection - isang engagement ring at wedding ring in one. Paghawak pa lang niya at pagsukat alam ko na gusto niya talaga. Kaso, sabi niya pag-iisipan pa daw. Kaya naglakad-lakad muna kami. Dinala ko muna siya Best Buy para tingnan sana 'yung HP Mini Vivienne Tam edition na gusto kong ibili sa kanya. Kaso walang stock sa store, online lang. Isa pa masyado daw maliit para sa kanya. Bumalik kami sa loob ng mall at tumambay sa Starbucks habang umiinom siya ng PTL at kumakain kami ng Nachos. Bigla niyang sabi sa akin "Sakit tiyan ko Mahal..." Ngutimi ako sa kanya sabay sabi na, "Masakit? O excited ka lang?" Ngumiti ang loka sabay hampas sa akin. Sabi ko sa kanya, "Halika na, bilhin na natin singsing mo."

Kaya heto, megalambing siya sa akin to the max habang tinititigan ang singsing niya. Yihiiiii!

Dog Style

Luchi: "Are you free Tikboy???"

Gucci: "Pa-kiss nga Tikboy"
Tikboy: "Yoko nga... behhh!"

Gucci: "Buti pa si Mahal.... magpapakiss"

Si Luchi...si Gucci...Si Princess - mga piping saksi sa dopamine induced vacation namin, hahahahaha!

Akala nyo kung ano noh? Madudumi ang isip!!!!! Hahahahaha!

Anniversary gift..

:D First year anniversary namin ni Tikboy ko kaya nga nandito ako. After ma satisfy ang dopamine namin (hahahahaha!), we went to the mall. Kala ko mag-iikot lang kami then out of the blue, nagsalita ang bruha na kinaloka ko, "lika, bili tayo ng singsing".

Huh? Tama ba ang naririnig ko???

Syempre, pa demure pa ako - "ano? wag na..."

"Sige na..." Dumiretso sya sa Zales... Nag mega look kami. May nakita ako pero syempre, mahal kaya hindi na ako kumibo... Umiikot ikot muna ako sa mall. Pinilit pilit nya ako paaminin kung ano gusto ko. Kilala nya ako kaya alam nya kung ano yung nagustuhan ko.

"Ang mahal..."
"Ok lang yan..."
"Wag na mahal.."
"Pag established na ako talaga, papalitan ko yun ng mas maganda pa.."

In the end, binili nya rin! Hahahaha! Pa-echos pa ako noh?

Imagine? Binilhan ako ng singsing ni Tikboy ko na uber kuripot???

Hahahaha... thanks mahal... i love you...

At nagdaan ang isang gabi..

Dahil puno ng dopamine ang Misis ko, may mga title ng story akong naisip. Isa lang ito..

Libog meets Porn Star: Di bale nang pagod, di naman bitin. Hehehehe!

To be continued...

Why Vacation Sex Is So Good

Why Vacation Sex Is So Good
-Lori Leibovich, Glamour Magazine July 2009 issue

Ah, the joys of summer. Being on holiday may make you want to have sex more and lead to more orgasms, research shows. Why? Your amygdala, the part of your brain associated with stress and worry, needs to deactivate for you to climax. "That's much easier to do when you're in a vacation, says New York City based clinical sexologist Ian Kerner. Time away from your routine can also stimulate the release of dopamine ("the pleasure hormone") in the brain, he says, which plays a major role in arousal.

"To get turned on", Kerner says, "you really do have to turn everything else off".

Interesting... Well, I just want to say one thing -

I am full of dopamine right now, hahahahahaha!

Eh paano pag nalaman mong off ka pa pala?

Ano pa nga ba eh di mag-check in ka na at nang makapag-pahinga! Hahahaha!

I thought that I was on duty tonight because that's what the scheduled said. But when I called my boss to check if I'm on duty she told me that she made a mistake. I'm off for two days which means I'll be reporting for duty tomorrow night. Susme, kung nalaman ko lang kagabi hindi na sana ako na-bad trip! May bago kasing pasyente kaya namumuyat. Ang problema kahit hindi ako naka-duty tinatawag pa rin ako ng mga naka-duty dahil dun ako natutulog. Haaay naku! Kaya nga nung nalaman ko kanina na wala pala akong pasok nag-ayos agad ako ng gamit kahit gabi na! Hehehehe..

Alone time. Yihiiii! Walang pasyenteng tatawag, walang pasaway na kasamang naka-duty pero tulog magdamag!

The bed. Not bad, but I did bring my own kumot. Masyado kasing sensitive balat ko, natuto na ko sa experience namin ni Misis Tikboy sa Hotel Bijou.

A/C in California? Oh yes! Isa ito sa pinapahanap ni Misis Tikboy. Hindi kasi uso dito sa California ang airconditioning dahil natural na malamig. Hehehehe!

So here I am at De Luxe Inn. For 60 bucks I got this room for the night. So far, so good. Free wifi internet, the room's got cable TV, microwave, personal refrigerator and complimentary bottle of water, ehek! Thing I could only stay until eleven in the morning. Darn! If I want to extend my stay I have to shell out an additional 10 bucks for two hours. Kainis! Di bale, sulitin ko na lang ang gabi. Hehehe!